The Grill Club
I have to admit, this was such a bad experience I don’t even know where to start. How about I try to mention the good things first?
The coke came in bottles.
if we look at it from an erotic point of view, this was the shortest foreplay ever only to be followed by really, really bad sex. Something you know happened, but you refuse to keep it in your memory or, god forbid, ever speak about it again.
The interior is monochromatic, cold and cheap. A wannabe posh style where not so posh people go to try and look posh. Waiters are quite neutral, not excessively friendly to really earn their tip, but they don’t give you the stink eye either. Although ours seemed a bit surprised when we refused the daily menu and asked for the menu card instead. In hindsight, this should have been the first red flag: the price range for a hamburger is €11 to €13. And no, they don’t come with a golden ring or transformers stickers. Instead you get soaky fries and small plastic cups with sour mustard and sour ketchup.
I chose well done Eggie Burger and Hermzz went for medium Hawaiian, the only difference being mine was with fried egg (who would expect that) and his with one pineapple ring from a can and two slices of sandwich cheese. Yeah, you read that right, Hermzz paid €11+ euros for two filthy pieces of shitty pre-packaged cheese slices. The buns were a day old and not the usual burger buns, which made them slippery. Every time we tried to take a bite, there was a risk that the burger might chose to migrate down to our lap. What’s worse, even though the place was empty the nice garçon managed to mix up our order, so I ended up eating medium Eggie Burger and Hermzz a Hawaiian shoe sole.
So here’s the thing about hamburgers. To properly enjoy a hamburger you have to ignore the silver ware. The same way spaghetti is meant to be eaten with a spoon and fork, no metal should be involved in the consumption of a hamburger. Grab it with both hands, squish it a bit and chomp right into it. Never mind the ketchup and mustard dropping from your fingers, nor the fact that your mouth might look like it’s been on the wrong end of a fight. It’s the hamburger way. Since we didn’t particularly enjoy our meal taste wise, we decided we were going to enjoy it atmosphere wise. It’s nice to know we still have the mojo to make people do double takes as they walk past our table. I am not going to even waste my energy on making a proper food and service rating. It’s enough to say we paid 15€ each for this entertainment, without desert. Pro-tip: Free coupons to The Grill Club make for great passive/aggressive gifts for people you really dislike.
Rating: Disasterpiece.
What our table looked like 20 minutes after sitting down in an empty restaurant.
This is what Hermzz looks like 20 minutes after sitting down in an empty restaurant.
Even starving mice would turn down that cheese.
